When it comes to the people we care about it’s hard to say no, it’s hard to say “just deal with it already!” and it’s hard not to want to protect them from anything emotionally or physically uncomfortable.

When we find our selves making a habit of doing that there are still consequences though. They just aren’t the ones we intended.

We start to feel the burden of being a constant protector from emotional upset, defender and justifier of what and why we do it, and provider of constant harmony. It can be exhausting. There are times when people have to be uncomfortable, have to suffer consequences and have to deal with their own messes. That’s life.

So how big of a favor are we really doing them when we unwittingly try to short cut their process? Each time we try and fix their problem, find a solution for them, bargain our way around a situation in order to avoid emotional upset, we lose and they lose.

We lose because we take on the burden of trying to alleviate them of learning a hard lesson or experience and they lose because we rob them of their opportunity to grow and learn how to deal with and be responsible for their own shituff (no, that’s not a typo).

There’s a fine line between offering guidance and support and just simply removing an uncomfortable situation from someone’s plate altogether.

If we keep clipping their wings they’ll never be able fly high on their own.

I cried. There was no other answer that could have been more meaningful and significant to me.

I’ve always thought that one of the most important ingredients of a great, loving relationship is to be each other’s biggest fan. To support your partner in their personal growth and process of becoming who they want to be in their life.

It’s critical that we fully support our self too because sometimes that’s all you have. It’s also all you truly need. But having and giving support to your partner makes the relationship more sweet and life much more grand.

I fully support you, you fully support me, and we each fully support our self. Everyone’s covered. Easy-peasy.

When we each feel free and encouraged to pursue our own evolution as individuals we have the best of ourselves to contribute to our relationships. Result? Seems obvious.

Happy Valentine’s Day honey. I love you and look forward to celebrating our 26th anniversary this year.

Your thoughts will determine what’s really important to you and what you decide you want to feel and do about those things.

Your energy will determine the amount of effort you give to those things.

What you spend your time on will reveal the truth about what you declare is most important because ultimately, what you spend your time on demonstrates what you truly want to do by the simple fact that it’s what you’re doing.

I am training myself to conquer my days, goals and aspirations by being honest about where and why I spend my time on certain things and how I feel about it. There have been days when I’ve opened my eyes in the morning and declared I would spend the whole day working on my book because that’s my priority and what I really want to do that particular day. Then about 5:00 I become aware I’ve spent my day cleaning, running errands, managing our businesses & maintenance of everything, answering emails & calls, blah, blah, blah…

I think I was telling myself a little white lie! What I really wanted to do was exactly what I did – because that’s what got done. And I did feel good about that, but struggled with feeling resentful that I didn’t have time to write because I had to do all this other stuff instead.

Then if I’d spend time writing I’d feel guilty that I was neglecting the stuff that has to get done. Geeez! Something had to change!

So my self-imposed training began with being honest about what I really want to spend my energy on at any given time. Dividing our energy is necessary to cover all we want & need to do. It’s just as important for me to keep the obligatory, practical, daily-living wheels rolling in the right direction as it is to focus on realizing my personal goals.

Now I practice separating the things I’m going to spend my time and energy on into one of two categories – “necessary for the good of the whole” or “necessary for the good of me” (which ultimately benefits the whole). Then I try and work on what I really want to work on and STAY ON TASK with whatever that is – with NO GUILT or RESENTMENT, just a sense of satisfaction!

I would love to interact with you more! Now you can connect with me here too: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Loree-Bischoff-Life-Coach/204032900887?v=app_4949752878&ref=ts

Pearls of wisdom, the pearly gates, pearls of joy, mother of pearl, freshwater pearl…

A pearl is something that is highly regarded for its beauty or value.

That’s what I think our souls are like – pearls of the most omniscient beauty & sacred value in all of creation.

We may all be different in our appearance and our expression of life but what we have in common is that ultimately we are all the purest of pearl drops manifested from the same mystical ocean.

Then we get periods of time when we can just leisurely glide through days, weeks, maybe even longer.

The ebb and flow of our experiences requires us to be nimble, for the changes are inevitable, and they’re for our highest good (even if they don’t always seem like it!).

When things are moving fast it can be exhilarating, making us feel alive by being so engaged in our processes and tasks at hand.

Then we have periods where everything seems to slow down and we can catch our breath. We’re aware of where we’ve come from and where it is we’re trying to go. What we once were and what we’re becoming.

That ‘s exhilarating in a different way. It’s satisfying.

Oh it’s all just so good – if you remember to remain nimble. The fast times will change, the slower times will change and everything in between will change. This is certain. So don’t resist, just be nimble and make an effort to truly go with the flow. Life is good when you can embrace all the parts of the ride – and just chill.

Then sometimes, I get pulled out of my retreat by the people and events in my life. I view it as a kind of divine rescue though. It reminds me to be present and not miss what’s happening right now with my life, my loved ones and my liked ones.

Both the retreat and the rescue revive and nourish me in different ways. They keep me balanced and enjoying the life I’ve created today, the amazing people who are part of it and the dreams I have about tomorrow.

Invest time in yourself. It’s a good idea.

Engage in your life and the people in it. It’s also good idea.

Do you think that’s bad? Some might view it as bad if they look at it from the perspective of never feeling good enough. But this doesn’t mean I don’t feel good enough being where I am now. On the contrary, it means I feel so good that I’m fueled to want to be even better. There’s always more to BE!

Just the thought of doing something new, different or making even a small change makes me feel exhilarated and like I’m moving ever closer to being my best self.

I look at it as fulfilling my potential. And since I think our potential is unlimited, then not continuing to grow isn’t an option, or even a desire.

I usually turn holiday time into so much extra work that I end up cork screwing myself into the dirt. But this year I promised myself to lighten up! So with lots of “KISSing” going on I finally broke my pattern of over-shopping, over-fooding (buying & serving too much food), and over spending, and it’s been just as enjoyable as every past Christmas – in some ways more.

This was no easy task mind you. I really had to work at controlling my engrained habits. Every time I wanted to buy “just one more thing” a voice in my head shouted, “STOP!” I had some momentary pangs about my self-imposed stopping points, but on the other hand, I had a newfound sense of freedom, which I don’t usually have around the holidays. By forcing myself to shop & buy less, I had more time to enjoy the most important things – like baking! (Just kidding) and being able to spend plenty of good quality time with our family and friends.

Sometimes KISS is all you need.